girl [n.]
Why me?
I'm just an ordinary girl, who swallows loneliness like a bitter pill. I need my medication.
I am destined to be alone and I know it; it's not my choice, it's my make.
I know I will be alone again. I don't want to be dreading the nights all over again, and stay up each time, just so I wouldn't have to wake up in my emptiness once again.
Before you came, oh I was ready!
I was ready like a plane-crash survivor: canned confidence, preserved dignity, salted career plans and parachute restlessness.
Why crash and burn this heart again?
Why mine?
What do you win out of this?
You already know you can win anybody's heart. Why do you care to stir into this charred, bruised and bandaged piece of crap? Does it exhilerate you, make you feel like a winner?
I already told you I can't love. Did you take it personally to think I can't love YOU?
I told you I want to be alone. Did you take it personally to think I want you to stay away from me?
Why?
Leave me alone.
Believe that I don't have any human emotions left in me. I've been drained. Emptied. Shaken. And then wiped clean with a steriliser.
I'm bones. There's no blood or flesh on me. No pulsating muscle. No moist tenderness. No enduring embrace.
Leave me alone.
Don't look at me again.
I'm just an ordinary girl, who swallows loneliness like a bitter pill. I need my medication.
I am destined to be alone and I know it; it's not my choice, it's my make.
I know I will be alone again. I don't want to be dreading the nights all over again, and stay up each time, just so I wouldn't have to wake up in my emptiness once again.
Before you came, oh I was ready!
I was ready like a plane-crash survivor: canned confidence, preserved dignity, salted career plans and parachute restlessness.
Why crash and burn this heart again?
Why mine?
What do you win out of this?
You already know you can win anybody's heart. Why do you care to stir into this charred, bruised and bandaged piece of crap? Does it exhilerate you, make you feel like a winner?
I already told you I can't love. Did you take it personally to think I can't love YOU?
I told you I want to be alone. Did you take it personally to think I want you to stay away from me?
Why?
Leave me alone.
Believe that I don't have any human emotions left in me. I've been drained. Emptied. Shaken. And then wiped clean with a steriliser.
I'm bones. There's no blood or flesh on me. No pulsating muscle. No moist tenderness. No enduring embrace.
Leave me alone.
Don't look at me again.
14 Comments:
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the fact that no one comes here has its advantages. I have never seen you open up so much in your earlier posts. Now your posts are not only more personal but also more poetic than before. The use of words, the tone, the gesture, all add up beautifully the way notes add up to make a perfect composition. You are not missing out on your readers, its the other way round.
Well, this is interesting to me because, I wrote this post a long time ago in some private blog somewhere. Three years ago. I put it up here now because I can't write like that anymore, not even in private, and it's just a strong contrast to how rigid my writings have become.
hmm..its true. but may be i wudn't go that far as to say your writing has become rigid, because it hasn't. but this post is certainly very sensitive. i dont remember reading something like this before in your blog..
I will continue with this dramatic series another time, off to sleep I go.
oh u give up. sure.
goodnite.. ugly dreams..
Ugly dreams. Lol. Now now, don't let this get so personal as to make you bitter. Be cool.
lol. i was trying to use something new. tai ugly dreams bolsi. aj kal i dont wish "good day". i wish - "have an average day" lol.
Good for you.
:)
hey,, wats up?
why are you such a stalker? I've told you to NOT text me, over and over again. I've also told you NOT communicate with me. What is wrong with you????
happy birthday. i know its in 1st march, but wish kortey deri hoye gelo. i really hope you had a good day.
hi mahreen. good wishes.
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